Guest Post by Peter Minkoff (Homo Culture Magazine)
*This article is written mostly for gay men but has great advice for anyone engaging in anal sex!
Is there anything that a bottom doesn’t know? Well, technically, yes. Without generalization (but even if we do generalize just a little bit, you probably won’t get offended as we trust in your great sense of humor), bottom gay guys are the ones who are always extremely funny, they tend to know everything about all the feuds and celebrity scandals and beef, know who’s doing whom (is Shawn Mendes doing Camilla, though?), but do they know everything about sex and bottoming? Perhaps yes, perhaps no. But, just to be on the safe side, take a look at the 10 things that every single gay person who’s into bottoming or thinking about it should know:
1. Clean yo’self
This goes without saying, and it is definitely the first thing that every gay guy should learn, may he be a bottom or a top. Cleaning yourself is the number 1 rule of personal hygiene, and it is important to know how to properly douche yourself. This can be done in the comfort of your own bathroom, which might involve some mess and a lot of spilled water, but this is the only way to know that you are 100% clean and ready to take it.
2. Watch what you’re eating
On the actual day of your sex date, do not overeat and don’t eat junk food at all. Rather, try to find some foods that are digested easily so they leave no debris in your body. After this, douche yourself properly (as rule #1 states) and you will be ready to go.
3. Relax
Once you get ready physically, it is time to get ready mentally for the penetration process (this way it sounds more medical!). If you are bottoming for the first time, then this might seem easier said than done, and guess what – you are right. You will be quite nervous before the actual moment, and it will probably hurt a bit, but the most important thing is to make it through that first wave of pain, take a deep breath, relax your muscles and you will see the difference. Know that the first time is always the most difficult one.
4. Think of sex toys
Bottom gays tend to be kinkier and kinkier these days, which is definitely not a bad thing. Seeing people become more open towards new things and trying out as many things as possible is an incredible thing. This is why opting to experiment with different sex toys is a great idea. However, bear in mind that you should know what sex toys you want to experiment with, and don’t do this during your first time bottoming as it might be overwhelming.
5. Be a power bottom
Everyone loves a good power bottom, so being one has to be your priority, at least from time to time. The bottom line is (pun intended), you need to know how to be a good power bottom. Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to be submissive, and your top should not be always in control of you. You can dictate the pace and the actual position, so know how to tame that penis.
6. Ride your man in different positions
Changing positions is a must. Nobody likes vanilla sex, so it should come as an imperative for you to master as many different positions as you can, and to change them during sex. After all, this is what will keep your sex life more interesting and your man more interested in you and what you have to offer. Learn and research all the different ways you can ride your man, so think of it as a rodeo practice. You can literally mess with his head if you want to.
7. Bring everything
This is one of the most confusing questions in the life of the gays – who brings what. Who will bring the condoms and who will bring the lube? Just to be on the safe side, make sure to bring everything. Why not? After all, you never know when you will need both of these things.
8. Be proud
It happens very often that bottoms feel insecure only because most of the tops look amazing and are very handsome and fit. The truth is that the key to being a successful bottom is to love your body and to accept it just as it is. Take your insecurity and make it your weapon. Make it the thing people love about you. If you show insecurities in bed, you will be perceived in a completely different light than the one you would want to.
9. Don’t act like someone you’re not
This is very close to the previous thing, but there are plenty of guys who simply act like something they’re not. It is completely understandable that nowadays, bottom gay guys think they’re less of a man than anyone else, and they tend to act in a masculine way. Know that this is not the thing that you should be doing. This is a matter of taste – some people love masculine bottoms, others love feminine bottoms, so there is really no reason for you to be someone you’re not.
10. Speak your mind
Finally, always say what is on your mind. Talk dirty from time to time – everyone loves that. At other times, state when it’s uncomfortable for you. If it is too fast, say it. If it is too slow, say that as well. This is not only important so that your partner knows if he is doing something wrong, but because sex should be a great thing for both of you, and if you are not having a good time, say it.
One would say that bottoming is an easy task, but honey, how wrong they would be! Bottoming is a skill that one has to master, and it does require just a bit of reading and experimenting. Good luck!
Peter a sex and dating columnist for TheHomoCulture magazine. Follow Peter on Twitter for more tips.