I’ve been asked by several folx to provide a set of good readings on D/s dynamics. While this is far from a complete list, here is a good place to start. I will continue to update over time.
LAST UPDATED 01/2022
Kink Education and Organization Sites
- www.BSDM.org
- BDSM Education Center www.BDSMEducCenter.com (broken link fixed 1/20/2020)
- Black Rose www.BR.org
- Center for Sex Positive Culture www.thecspc.org
- Community Academic Consortium for Research on Alternative Sexualitites www.carasresearch.org
- Black Thorn Black-Thorn.org
- Fetish.com has a list of BDSM groups across the US
- Folsom Street Events www.folsomstreetevents.org
- International Mr. Leather www.imrl.com
- International Ms. Leather and Boot Black www.imslbb.org
- Kink Academy www.KinkAcademy.com
- Kinkly Kinkly.com
- Kinsey Institute www.kinseyinstitute.org
- Leather and LGBTQ Cultural District, SF https://sfleatherdistrict.org/
- Leather Archives and Museum www.leatherarchives.org
- Lesbian Herstory Archives www.lesbianherstoryarchives.org
- Lesbian Sex Mafia www.lesbainsexmafia.org
- Museum of Sex www.museumofsex.com
- National Coalition for Sexual Freedom www.NCSFreedom.org
- National Leather Association International www.NLA-international.com
- Lavender Library and Cultural Exchange www.llace.org
- The Pleasure Coach http://www.thepleasurecoach.org/
- Sexual Alpha SexualAlpha.com
- Society of Janus www.soj.org
- The Exiles (lesbain org) www.theexiles.org
- Wicked Grounds www.WickedGrounds.com
- Woodhull Freedom Foundation www.woodhullfoundation.org
Books
Consent
- SSC v. Rack https://epochryphal.wordpress.com/2015/02/16/rack-vs-ssc-kink-consent-ableism-agency/
- Negotiating a BDSM Scene https://www.kinkweekly.com/article-jenn/negotiating-a-bdsm-scene/
- DevianceAndDesire 1 page negotiation form https://www.devianceanddesire.com/2016/04/tonight-i-want-negotiation-sheet/
- Kink Weekly Negotiation Checklist https://www.kinkweekly.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/BDSM-negotiation-checklist.pdf
- Jay Wiseman Negotiation Long Form https://www.evilmonk.org/a/wiseman10.cfm
- Kink Closet Beginners BDSM Contracts https://www.lovense.com/bdsm-blog/bdsm-contract
- Midori Negotiating Consent Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9s0VVjIi38
- American Sex Podcast with Guest Midori “Hotter Negotiation” http://sunnymegatron.com/hotter-negotiation-midori-podcast/
- Kink Academy Podcast with Selena Minx “Negotiation is Hard!” https://erotication.libsyn.com/negotiation-is-hard-selina-minx-makes-it-easy
General Information
- “The Ultimate Beginner’s Guide” by Couple’s Candy
- Blanton, Rebecca. Love Letters to a Unicorn: A book about kink, BDSM, and non-monogamy.(2nd edition)
- Blanton, Rebecca. The Big Workbook for Submissives.
- Brame, William, Gloria Brame, and John Williams. (2011). Different Loving: A Complete Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission. Random House: New York.
- Califia, Pat and Robin Davies. (2012). Public Sex.
- Cruz, Ariane. The Color of Kink.
- Easson, Dossie. The Topping Book
- Easson, Dossie and Janet Hardy. The Ethical Slut
- Easson, Dossie and Janet Hardy. The Bottoming Book
- Gray, Luna. A Kinky Girl’s Guide to Dating.
- Harrington, Lee. Playing Well with Others.
- Kali, Princess. 365 Days of Kink.
- Midori. Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink
- Notte, JoEllen. (2020). The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression and the Conversations We are Not Having
- Perel, Esther. (2009). Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence.
- Stryker, Kitty. (2020). Ask: Building a Culture of Consent.
- Tizano, Shay. (2021). Creating Captivating Classes.
- Thompson, Mark, Dorothy Allison, Guy Baldwin, etc. (2013). Leatherfolk: Radical sex, people, politics, and practice. Deadalus Press: New York.
- van der Kolk, Bessel. The Body Keeps the Score.
- Wiseman, Jay. SM 101
Impact Play
Pet Play
“A Glimpse Into the World of Puppy Play”
Rope
- Harrington, Lee and Rigger Jay. More Shibari You Can Use.
- Midori and Craig Morey. The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage.
- Tizano, Shay. Tying and Flying.
- Two Knotty Boys and Larry Utley. Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes.
- Vane, Evie. Better Bondage for Every Body.
HEALTH, AGING, and DISABILITY
- Aida Manduley Disability Justice
- Ante Up Disability Courses
- ChronicSex.org
- Disability After Dark
- Hedonish
- JP Consulting
- LA Spoonie Collective
- Notte, JoEllen. The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations We are Not Having.
- Robin Wilson Beaty
RELATIONSHIP ORIENTATIONS (nonmonogamy, polyamory, mixed styles)
Books
- Fern, Jessica. Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy.
- Hardy, Janet and Dossie Easson. The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Nonmonogamy, and other Freedoms in Sex and Love
- Patterson, Kevin and Ruby Bouie Johnson. Love Is Not Colorblind: Race and Representation in Polyamory and Other Alternative Communities.
- Taormino, Tristan. Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships
- Veaux, Franklin. More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Polyamory
Podcasts
BLOGS
- Chronic Sex
- Dr. Liz Powell
- Dungeons & Diagnosis
- Kink Positive
- Erotic Awakening
- Kink Academy: Blog posts, video instruction and more from top kink educators!
- Kink Doctor
- Hey Epiphora
- Kink Positive
- RedheadBedhead
- Spices of Lust
- Submissive Feminist: Personal blog
- Submissive Guide All things submissive. Well informed and sourced.
- Sugarbutch D/s, queer, gender nonconforming
- The Body is Not An Apology
- Wicked Grounds Blogs, classes and more!
- A Kinky Autistic
- Afrosexology
- Love Letters to a Unicorn
- Rain DeGrey
- Submissive Feminist
- Sunny Megatron
- Trauma Queen
- Wellcelium
PODCASTS
- American Sex Podcast
- Bawdy Storytelling
- The Dildorks
- Disability After Dark
- I Am Poly (So Can You!)
- Kink Academy Podcast
- Kink and Coffee
- Kink Craft
- Kinky Queer Revolution
- Loving BDSM
- Masocast
- Off the Cuffs
- People of Kink
- Poly Role Models
- Poly Weekly
- Practically Kinky
- Sluts and Scholars
Reputable Vendors
- Betty’s Toy Box
- Beyond Piercing
- Chainmail by Chelle
- Cheapestees.com (tshirts and merch producers with extended sizes)
- CityChicOnline – great lingerie and playwear for extended sizes. Bras as large as 50G
- Dark Garden (corsets)
- Details Toys
- Enby
- Foxy Feisty Redhead
- Fun Factory
- FunkitToys
- Geeky and Kinky (apparel and accessories)
- Glass Fish
- Good Vibes
- Holo Leather
- Lelo toys
- LoveHoney
- Marv’s Knotty Wood
- Morado Leather Designs
- Naughty Betty’s
- NJoy toys
- Mr. S Leather
- Orchard Corsets
- SheVibe
- St. John’s Dye Works
- Toys in Babeland
- Tracy’s Dog
- Twisted Monk (rope)
- SINagauge on Etsy
- Smitten Kitten
- Stockroom
- Sugar the Shop (Baltimore, MD)
- Tantus Toys
- Uberlube
- Wicked Grounds (San Francisco, CA)
- 611 Clothing
People I Follow On Twitter
| @Hedonis | @Bondageland | @Master_Venture | @Imani_Barbarin | @MinkoffPeter |
| @Redheadbedhead | @BDSMOxy | @OnQueerStreet | @KinkifyMe | @SacLLACE |
| @WickedGrounds | @CoffeeandKink | @IndigoIsAnAdult | @BadQueersPodcast | @PupAmp |
| @DirtyLola | @Smutlancer | @BestBondage | @tantus | @KittenBohem |
| @Epiphora | @DrLizPowell | @MySexToyFinger | @Bawdy | @KinkyAutistic |
| @hlpleasurecoach | @cmclymer | @amandadeibert | @boringnerdykate | @BreeNewsome |
| @Kinkly | @SexHealthInfo | @LoveSohimi | @RISKshow | @sfSubmission |
| @SunnyMegatron | @ChronicSexChat | @MBolt2014 | @TheSTIProject | @HeatherMSW |
| @SubFeminist | @SpicesofLust | @yrfatfriend | @TheLadyMiyabi | @STDCheck |
| @TheWenchWorks | @MrSexsmith | @IMsLBB2019 | @FOMNZ | @DCBiDoc |
| @BannonRace | @AutoStraddle | @FistingFans | @InvisDisComedy | @CLFEvent |
| @SunnyMegatron | @Ignixia | @SexAbled | @KelliDunham | @DASANetwork |
There are a lot of blogs out there on WordPress that chronicle the personal experiences of D/s relationships. I didn’t recognize the ones on your list, will go have a look thought. Thanks for sharing!
Loved this. You have such a great way with words. Thanks for sharing!
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