Dear Readers, I’m back after a long time off. Unfortunately my health battles continue and there is no help from the medical community....

I can’t believe I haven’t written a blog post on topping from the bottom! How could I be so remiss of addressing a topic which comes up...

We talk a lot about negotiation in the kink scene. Negotiating what you will and will not do, what you want and what your partner(s) want...

Healthy couples fight. Most healthy couples don’t fight often, but disagreements do arise, emotions heighten and we fight. Its actually a...

It’s National Mental Health Awareness Month so lets talk about power exchange and mental illness. Depending on the source, between 20 and...

Power exchange relationships have many similarities to vanilla relationships. Both require kindness, understanding, communication, and...

So you want to try switching things up. Great! There are a lot of benefits to switching power positions (e.g., a submissive trying...

A couple of months ago I was performing with Bawdy Storytelling and had the great pleasure of hearing Race Bannon tell a story about the...

I have been thinking a lot about apologies lately. Nationally, men have been issuing varying forms of apologies for sexually harassing...

The submissive’s body is a unique thing. Our body is ours, first and foremost. We have the right and the responsibility to keep it safe....

It is probably the most common thing I hear or see written about submission: The submissive is really the one in charge. The sub can stop...

Immediacy is valued by many. We want what we want and we want it now! The whole concept of delayed gratification has become nearly...

One of the core principles of BDSM play is that players, all players, have a right to protect their body and mind. We stress consent,...

I know that seems counter-intuitive to most people. Isn’t the role of an s-type based on giving power, sometimes total power, to a...

At some point in the last decade culture in the United States started demanding that people be certain about everything. We collectively...

After teaching my class “Power Exchange and Mental Illness” several times and corresponding with folks online who have read my writing...

My first serious girlfriend told me I was not worth the risk to marry because I had Bipolar. She knew this when we got together. Still,...

I have been overwhelmed by the number of stories in the past few weeks about the horrors brought about by men who did not feel like they...

“Submission is a gift.” I hear that phrase constantly in the kink community. I hear submissives say it. I hear Dom(me)s say it. Switches...

I have had a bunch of conversations lately about incorporating sex into BDSM play. Some people have to have both in a session, others do...