I’ve been thinking a lot about joy. I know. Weird to post about joy here in the US on today of all days. Stay with me. It is relevant to the current political situation and much more.
The new administration has made it very clear that they wish to eliminate LGBTQ+ folks from the world. This is not hyperbole. This is what their policies are intended to do. Regulating speech, beginning with pornography regulations, is really geared toward banning speech about gender, sexuality, and health. It starts with porn and expands to all things sexual (read queers, trans, reproduction).
Their proposed policies also demand removing any mention of queer folks from government websites. Some agencies have already stripped all mentions of LGBTQ from their websites in anticipation of this move. They had tried to make it illegal for librarians to make books about LGBTQ+ issues available to kids (although one court struck down this law, other states still are trying to implement it). These policies are designed to cut us off from information, history, and our community.
The right has also made it clear that anyone who is not a wealthy, white, cis, male should not be able to control what happens to their body. This includes access to reproductive healthcare (abortions, miscarriage care, birth control); access to gender affirmative care (hormones and other medical intervention); and even who gets to have sex with you. It seems to be a member of this cabinet; you need to have raped at least one minor to get a nod in your direction.
Yes, we have organizations fighting to keep our rights. The ACLU, NCSF, SPLC, and others are staffed up and ready with a slew of legal challenges. Please support them financially if you are able! And yes, we have groups battling to keep books in libraries, provide community support groups, and organize resistance movements. This is wonderful and a lot of work!
The sum total of all these attacks, even when the legal ones eventually fail, is to strip joy from our world. It is hard to feel joy when every time you go online, read the paper, listen to podcasts, or talk to friends you hear about all the abysmal stuff happening in the world. For those of you who have blocked out the memory of the last time this asshat was in office, it was literally a daily deluge of hate and violence against our community.
Why Does Joy Matter?
Why would I even care about joy at this point? Joy, specifically queer joy, is a critical form of resistance. The right hates nothing more than to see a queer person happy in their own skin. Everything they do is designed to make us hate ourselves and feel alone in the world. It is to shame us into suicide. It is to eliminate us. So, showing up joyful, loving your queer self is a great form of resistance.
Additionally, finding moments of joy allows us to continue the fight. If is was all bad, all work, all anger, we would all burn out quickly! I’ve been fighting these fights since the late 1980s. The only reason I am still here and fighting is that I experience joy in being my queer, fat, disabled self! Moreover, I find other queer folks who celebrate their moments of joy as well. These moments bring renewal and strength. They help with finding peace (albeit momentarily). And when I celebrate publicly, it really pisses off the right.
How do you find joy in these very dark time?
Community connection is critical in this quest. Finding your people, those who you love and resonate with, is a key source for joy. Connecting with those you feel a kinship with calms the body and mind (its science, y’all). It provides for energetic renewal. It calms the nervous system.
Mindfulness is also important. I know I sound like some thin, blonde influencer on TikTok talking about “meditation and crystals.” Ooof. Those are not my people. However, mindfulness practices do help center us and calm the mind. This can be meditations, gratitude practices, breathing, or taking two minutes to appreciate all that is around you.
Don’t know how to get into mindfulness? I will poat several links at the bottom of this post.
Look for the good. This can be difficult at times. As I write this, my liver and pancreas are causing intractable pain that the doctors can’t figure out. I have to replace a car, which I can’t really afford to do at this time. My income has dropped, and food has gone up in price. And… I am about to vomit again. However, I can pause all of that for a minute and realize that I live with two people who really love me. I had good sex with my hot partner this morning. It is warm enough to walk around my yard for a few minutes. That is a pretty damn good day!
Our brains are designed to focus on the negative. It is a survival thing. Our primitive brain and our emotional brain hold onto the bad stuff to help us see it coming next time and protect us. We tend to forget the good. Begin a practice to look for the good once a day. Take five minutes to ground yourself in the moment and find something to be happy about.
There will be days this is not possible. I have been very ill, homeless, unable to access competent healthcare or adequate food. Those days it was really hard (and sometimes impossible) to celebrate anything. But most days I could find one good thing to be happy about. Those moments are why I am still here.
It will be a rough 4-40 years. We are already under active attack. Resist. Fight back. And in the moments you can, celebrate queer joy!
Resources:
Greater Good Into Action (UCbBerkely Mindfulness site)
Love Letters to a Unicorn (my site with lots of resources on mindfulness)