Resources & Recommendations

I am slowly building up my list of recommend readings and resources. If you have additions to my list, please message me.

Click on the links below the books for full information.

Books and eBook


Ethical Slut
The Ethical Slut
Bottoming Book
The Bottoming Book
Screw the roses
Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns
SM 101
SM 101: A Realistic Intro
Public Sex
Public Sex: The Culture of Radical Sex


Susie Sexpert
Susie Sexpert’s Guide to Lesbian Sex


Sexual outsiders
Sexual Outsiders
More than two.gif
More Than Two
Opening UP
Opening Up

 Macho Sluts. 

Coming out under fire
Coming Out Under Fire
And the band played on
And the Band Played On




The People of Kink      Kinkcast

Masocast     Sex Nerd Sandra

Movies and Videos

//“>The Secretary (2002)

//“>The Times of Harvey Milk (1984)

//“>Tongues United (1989)

//“>Angles in America (2004)

//“>Shortbus (2006)

//“>Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001)

//“>Paris is Burning (1992)

//“>9 1/2 Weeks (1986)

//“>After Porn Ends (2012)

//“>This Filthy World (2006)

//“>A Dirty Shame (2005)

//“>The Living End (1992)

Social Media, Websites, Projects and Other Stuff

Find a Munch! (Through The People of Kink)

National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, List of Kink-friendly medical professionals: Kink Aware Professionals

CondomFinder App (both iPhone and Android) – shows you all the places by zip code where you can get free condoms and lube!!!! Super, super useful. AND FREE!

Submissives Guide  Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration

Unslut Project  Film, blog, Twitter account, Instagram, and more

Good Men Project – Some of the best writing about relationships and sex from the male perspective I have seen

Sex Workers Project   Nonprofit working to destigmatize sex work and make it safe and non-exploitive

CALCASA  Umbrella organization in CA working to end sexual assault and help survivors

Sam Kalidi @SamKalidi on Twitter

Violet Blue @VioletBlue on Twitter

Mrs. Betty Bowers @BettyBowers



Custom flogger, canes, and dragontails by Master J (MothaFknSorcerer on Fetlife). Hit him up on Fet or if you are in the Phoenix area, he does the GAP coffees. I am also a distributor. Some pics below:

20150804_2153241 20150820_195536 20150821_104542 20150825_104004 20150903_132231


Orchard Corsets  Steel boned corsets, waist chincers

Hips and Curves   Lingerie and naughty costumes for curvy girls

Urban Chic Stylish clothing for sizes 14 and up

Amazonia Enterprises steel boned corsets

Tink’s Reference List

Tink is a local community member in Sacramento. She is amazingly well read and thoughtful about polyamory and kink. With her permission, I am reposting her reference list.

Favorite poly related web sites:

  • Franklin Veaux’s polyamory site – check out the links on the right side of the page for a great range of topics – I especially like his articles on jealousy and secondary’s care which includes a secondary’s ‘bill of rights’ they are also working on a book []

Favorite poly related podcasts:

  • Pedestrian Polyamory – This one is mostly defunct now that the hosts have separated but still a great resource. Look for the new to poly episodes (10 & 20) and the interviews with pepper are also great (2& 18) […]

Other general sex/kink friendly podcasts I am enjoying:

Books and other readings on various poly, relationship, sex, and kink topics:

*Listing of 39 poly books from Poly in the Media…

  • Playing well with others: Your field guide to discovering, navigating, and exploring the kink, leather, and BDSM communities by Mollena Williams and Lee Harrington (resource about navigating community – different focus than the usual how to play books, recommend for anyone newling exploring the lifestyle) also see her website [] and writings on fet
  • Ethical slut by Janet W. Hardy, Dossie Easton
  • Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino
  • Polyamory: The new love without limits: Secrets of sustainable relationships by Deborah W. Anapol
  • The five love languages by Gary D. Chapman (religious focus but the core discussion about different needs people have for expressing love is good)
  • Power Circuits: Polyamory in a Power Dynamic by Raven Kaldera (one of the very few books on the intersection of poly and power exchange)
  • Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission Book by Jon Jacobs, William D. Brame, and Gloria Brame
  • Ultimate Guide to Kink by Tristan Taormino [a great anthology with essays by people with expertise in a variety of different kink topics. A great intro book]
  • The New Bottoming Book and The New Topping Book both by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton
  • Sex and God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality by Darrel Ray [a recommended read for those struggling to work through dissonance related to their sexuality and a religious upbringing]
  • Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality by Christopher Ryan, Ph.D. & Cacilda Jethá, M.D. []
  • The Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality [] A source for academic articles and reviews of some of the books listed above.

Poly groups
Poly & Kinky
MonoPoly The New Game
Living as a Single Secondary

Sexual Health Perspectives

*A Personal Take on Herpes: Stigma, Risk & Safer Sex by TheWisdomCube is a great writing for those working on determimg their personal level of acceptable risk with HSV. Lot’s of great sources cited.

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