Reviews

  • BestVibe 9.8″ Gay Pride Flag Dildo
  • Paloqueth 10 Piece Bondage Kit
  • LoveHoney Wand Vibrator
  • Paloqueth Tongue Vibrator
  • STDCheck.com
Large, realistically shaped dildo with Rainbow Pride Flag colors.

BestVibe.com 9.8″ Gay Pride Flag Silicone Dildo

Retail: $24

I have lots of feelings about this dildo. An uncomfortable level of feelings.

First, I am not a fan of rainbow capitalism. Slapping the pride flag colors on tchotchkes and rolling them out for Pride so some company with no connection to the LGBTQ community can make a buck really makes me angry. That said, I also really wanted a pride flag dildo. I have wanted one for a while. Yeah, its buying into rainbow capitalism at it worst, but it also looks cool! And this one looks really good. The colors are bright, they are the right colors for the flag, and it just makes me happy.

I am a huge supporter of buying from your brick-and-mortar store whenever possible and keeping small businesses going. So when this was coming from an internet company where most of the toys were made in China, I was hesitant (to say the least). I was fully prepared for a crappy toy fronting as silicone to show up and not be as advertised. I even did the flame test. It passed.

Okay, so I now have a BIG gay dildo. And I used it. It is… filling. At 9.8″ long (about 8 inches of that fully insertable) and nearly 2″ in diameter this is on the bigger end on “realistic” dildos. I’m a size queen so I loved it! I am also a bit of a dork so being able to see what color I made it up to during insertion made for some fun/awkward home videos.

It is nice and “springy” as my ex-wife would say. Its firm enough to use with a harness and properly fuck with but not overly stiff. I like the texture and the level of stiff to soft this toy has.

The veins didn’t do much in terms of sensation. If you enjoy that for the visual you will like this dildo. If you prefer a less realistic version, you may not like the veins. They are not overly bulging or anything so I think most folks will be cool with it.

This is a surprisingly good toy for a great price! The company shipped quickly and in a discrete black bag. So, despite all my feels, I am a fan!

The site BestVibe.com is pretty typical of most online sex toy shops. The shots are all of very thin women and/or the toys. The language is gendered and annoying. The mobile version is a pain to use. But… they do have good toys (I have reviews of more coming). They are worth checking out.

Paloqueth 10 Piece Bondage Kit

Array of bondage toys including: flogger, nipple clamps, ankle cuffs, wrist cuffs, collar, flogger, leash, ball gag, feather tickler
Paloqueth 10 Piece Bondage Kit: ball gag, flogger, blindfold, feather tickler, ankle cuffs, wrist cuffs, collar, hog tie, rope, nipple clamps, leash

Retail: $23

I would love it if someone would create a great starter kit for bondage. This kit is yet another argument for spending the money up front to get high end products.

This kit comes with two ankle cuffs, two wrist cuffs, a collar, nipple clamps, a blindfold, a leash, a hog tie, a flogger and a feather tickler. Across the board the quality reflects the $23 price.

The “leather” in this kit is a manmade material. I don’t necessarily have an issue with the leather not being real leather. I own plenty of vegan “leather” shoes. I have an issue with cheap materials that feel bad on the skin. This is cheap material. It feels like a $25 “leather” jacket you could pick up at Hot Topic. There is little skin appeal to the products.

The cuffs and collar as well as the blindfold is lined with a synthetic material which is supposed to be mimic fur. It gets wet quickly, does not dry easily, and cannot be properly cleaned (a big deal if you are using these toys on more than one person).

The nipple clamps are a version of an alligator clamp. They only close down to about 4 mm. My nipples are on the smaller side and they could barely stay on when used properly. The only way to create a pinch of nipple clamps is to put the tips of the clamp on the middle of the nipple. Any pressure, sweat or movement and they easily fall off. Also, the jingle bells are annoying and need to be removed before play.

The flogger is incredibly light. It stings a little on impact but wears out rapidly and lasted for one scene before being too worn to use.

The rope is a synthetic material. I am not a fan of non-natural fiber for rope play. Its fine for a harness or basic design but I would advise against using it if there will be any weight put on the knots because it becomes a bit difficult to loosen after use.

The clips on the hog tie and the cuffs and collar are flimsy. If there is no struggling they work for the fantasay of bondage. However, they break with any real strain on the restraints. The leash is equally cheap and flimsy. Skip it and just go to your local pet store for something nice.

Overall, this is a disappointing kit. Skip it and buy a few good pieces at a time. You may not get all 10 pieces at once, but high quality leather, clamps that won’t break, great rope and a decent blindfold are well worth the investment of a couple hundred dollars.

All I can recommend this for is a quick costume for Halloween or a burlesque show.

On Amazon at: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IOIU1ZY/

LoveHoney Delux Wand Couple’s Kit

Retail: $193

I bought my favorite vibrator 29 years ago. It served me well for 23 years before finally dying. I found out the no longer made the model I had come to count on (and counted to cum on). I have been in search of a good replacement for it, but had not found a satisfactory replacement. Until now…

The LoveHoney wand is that replacement! I cannot say enough good things about this toy and the company. It works the way I want it to. It has great accessories. The company site features models who are not all size 0 22-year old white models. It’s pretty damn awesome.


Picture of wand style vibrator, G-spot attachment in purple, and the “hummer” attachment for people with penises in clear silicone.

The toy arrived in two days through the mail in a standard cardboard box. The discrete packaging will be useful for those of you who care what your mailperson thinks about your deliveries. Miguel, the mail guy here, gave the doodles dog treats on deliveries so everyone was happy when the package arrived.

LoveHoney had enough protective packaging to ship the toys, but the packaging and inserts were minimal meaning less trash and less to recycle which I appreciate.

The order included the wand, a G-Spot Stimulator, and the Hummer attachment along with a carrying case. The wand and attachments are made of body-safe materials. The attachments are both medical grade silicone. The case is study and comes with a cute little lock.

The case was better than I had anticipated. I have cases from other toy companies. Often this is where people skimp in the sex toy industry. So many cases are flimsy, smaller than the dimensions promised or have crappy zippers. This one came with a significant zipper and is solidly constructed. I have been able to throw it into my weekend bag and take it on a trip without having it fall apart or the zipper break. The lock is cute but I probably won’t use it. I generally only lock items when I have to check them in on a plane because TSA steals stuff on the regular. The lock isn’t TSA approved so it won’t work for that. It would be useful if you lock for other reasons though.


Wand style vibrator, G-Spot and Hummer attachments in an open carrying case.

The case also holds a lot for its size. I managed to get the wand, the hummer and G-Spot attachment, my favorite electrified butt plug, nipple clamps, lube and toy cleaner into the case without cramming. This is great weekender case!

The wand is awesome! The head of the toy looks big- like almost the size of a tennis ball. It is mounted on a flexible neck that attaches to the wand. This toy fits me very well. The head doesn’t feel overly large when I am using it. It looked like the size might be too much to handle, but in practice it fits really well.

The flexible neck keeps me or a partner from squishing my clit into smithereens. Even at the height of sexy playtime, the give in the neck helps moderate pressure on the clit. This is really useful for partners who get distracted in the heat of the moment. I have used other wands without the flexible neck and sometimes my clit just gets smashed into my pubic bone and detracts from the pleasure. That isn’t an issue with this toy.

I am a big fan of big sensations and this delivers. Even on the lowest setting the wand provides a significant buzz. I have used this toy multiple times now. Most of the time I don’t go higher than the medium setting because the vibrations are significant. The higher settings work when forcing multiple orgasms. As my body fatigues from multiple orgasms the highest setting allow for play to continue.

The first time I tried this was a typical masturbation session. It was late and I was tired but not falling asleep. It took less than 90 seconds to go from zero to orgasm which was both amusing and appreciated. Like most folks over 40, masturbation is often used as a precursor to sleep. Ninety second to climax and then roll over to pass out is greatly appreciated.

The Love Honey wand does make me climax quickly on a regular basis. It has taken a little time to figure out the push and pull of a section to keep me edging before I come when playing with a partner. This had been a fun process to figure out. The range of vibration levels and the fact that it makes me come quickly has been a fun addition for orgasm control play.

The handle is comfortable to use. I have osteoarthritis and lupus, both which cause significant joint pain in my hands and hips. Even on bad pain days the handle is comfortable to hold and manipulate.

I also appreciate the length of the handle. I am agender and have periods of significant body dysmorphia. During these periods it is hard to become aroused and acknowledge all my girly bits. The size and design of the toy allows a way to distance myself a bit from the constraints of my body.

I tried the G-Spot stimulator. I have never been a huge fan of G-Spot stimulation because for me it is often painful or uncomfortable. The attachment provides gentle vibrations to the G-spot without the pressure or pounding of a lot of other toys. Being able to insert something is also fun on occasion.

The other attachment I got was the hummer- an attachment for folks with a penis. My partner has been working his butt off the last few weeks so we haven’t gotten to try this out. It will be in my next review.

This is definitely my new favorite toy. I will be going back to Love Honey for more toys in the future!

To get your LoveHoney wand click here.

To check out other Love Honey products, click here.


Paloqueth Tongue Vibrator 

Paloqueth Tongue Vibrator

Retail: $29

I was really excited to try out this vibrator. It has a few things I really appreciate in design: its non-representational, it comes in a fun color, and it is supposed to simulate a tongue! Woo Hoo!

It also has eight different vibration modes, is waterproof, and is made of medical grade silicone. These are all big pluses in my book.

It was shipped quickly and showed up in your standard brown box packaging. While I don’t have an issue with the mail guy knowing I’m getting sexy stuff in the mail (I doubt Miguel cares) for other folks the discrete packaging will be a plus.

The packaging for the toy itself is higher quality than most stuff in the industry. It comes with a sturdy box, a silky pouch to carry the toy and its charging cord in, a charging cord and a dongle.  It all looks really nice.


Paloqueth Tongue Vibrator pictured with the box it came in, the purple carrying pouch, and the vibrator itself.

It had a partial charge when it arrived. I plugged it in for an hour while I did other things and it had a full charge when I returned. The USB based charger plugs into the handle right through the silicone, keeping this toy water safe. This is great for those of you who enjoy using toys in the bath or shower.

I tried this toy several times by myself. It does hold up if you use it in water I am happy to say. I had a little fun in the bath one night and it had no issue being submerged. So yay!

As for performance, it was underwhelming. This may just be personal preference. I enjoy intense sensations including on my clit. Many of my partners have commented on the fact that I like it rougher than most of the women they have been with. A toy that is gentle is already up against a challenge with me. However, I have had plenty of partners for whom this would have been an adequate amount of buzzing. For my pain-slutty self, it was more of an annoying buzz and I just wanted more stimulation.

The eight different options for pulsing could be fun for something like orgasm control. There is one setting that starts on high and quickly runs down to nothing and then repeats. I could totally see using this mode to torture a subby girl by providing just enough stimulus to get her attention and having it quickly go away.

Honestly, most of the various vibration patterns didn’t do much for me. I found a few outright annoying since they didn’t provide enough stimulus to really keep going. Most were about the same as setting your alarm on your phone to vibrate and sticking the phone in your undies. If you are into that type of thing this will be for you. For me… I wasn’t into it.

The size of the toy was just big enough to slip between my pussy lips and let the toy rest there. So I decided to try and use this with my partner. We were having a bit of fun sexy time. I powered up the vibrator and slipped it between my lower lips to let it vibe while he provided other stimulation.

The toy did stay in place when we were in doggy style but the low, gentle buzz was just an annoying distraction. I tried to turn the thing off but the process to do that is difficult so we just tossed the toy aside to deal with after we finished.

We also decided to see if the toy did anything for my partner. He enjoys much more gentle sensations than I do, so I thought it might really work for him. We tried it on his balls as well as his shaft and the head of his cock. It did not do much to stimulate him.

Turning it on and off is the biggest issue I have with this toy. You have to hold the one switch on the toy down just right for just the right number of seconds for it to turn on and off. Most of the time it took repeated tries to turn it on. Turning it off generally required cycling through the eight settings at least once before the damn thing would turn off.

Overall, I was not impressed by the function of this toy. I can see how someone who enjoys very light sensations could find this appealing. However, as a person who enjoys more intense sensations this toy just didn’t deliver.

If you are into gentle sensations and want to give this toy a try, you can check it out here:
https://amzn.to/2lonQXe


STDCheck.com

I am a huge proponent of regular STI testing as part of any health regimen. Most STI’s are treatable and those that can’t be cured can be managed. Knowing your status allows you to take care of your health and provide important information for your sexual partners.

Most of my life I have done regular STI testing through a local free clinic. In Sacramento, there are several options of clinics which offer free STI testing. Most of these test for HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis in their standard screening. The procedure is, go in, sign in with any name you want, test. HIV results are now offered immediately (the clinics I go to offer the rapid response finger-stick test) and wait two weeks for the rest. If you don’t get a call, you are supposed to understand everything is fine.

This method has pluses and minuses. Its free- a big thing for lots of folks who don’t have extra cash to pay for tests. It can be anonymous (they don’t verify your identity when you sign in and I have heard them call “Minnie Mouse” back for testing). Its low time and effort.

The drawbacks are pretty big though. The panels generally only include four STIs, which isn’t close to the gamut which is out there. I also hate the “wait and pray for no call,” approach of most clinics. I have never been totally convinced that if I came back positive for any of the tests that I would definitely get a call. My experience with most healthcare offices is that the administrative staff can’t figure out how to use a phone, let alone leave a message.

There is always the option of going to your doctor and asking for regular testing. Most doctors will run the tests but this necessitates seeing a doctor. If you follow me on social media, you understand I think most doctors are toxic narcissists who couldn’t diagnose their way out of a paper bag. Plus, many insurance plans won’t cover regular STI testing and the costs can become prohibitive. One friend recently was charge $450 for an STI panel by his insurance company!!!

So, when STDCheck asked me to check out their service, I was pretty stoked. They offer a 10-panel STI check which is much more complete than most clinics and most doctor’s offices will offer. Second, it takes the doctor’s office out of the equation and you deal with folks in customer service, not healthcare, which tends to mean better response times and more complete answers to questions.

The process is really simple, which is something I like. You go to their site (www.STDCheck.com) choose the test package you want, choose the lab site where you want your blood drawn, pay and you are set! After you pay, they send you very clear instructions, a lab slip and you are set.

I deal with several chronic health conditions and routinely go to the lab for blood work. The instructions from STDCheck were clear, easy to understand and answered any question I might have. Honestly, they were much better at providing basic info than any doctor’s office I have ever worked with.

They sent the lab orders ahead to my lab (a Quest location in Napa, CA) and provided me with a copy of the lab slip. That was an additional plus in my book. My regular doctor routinely cannot send a complete lab slip to Quest and most trips for me involve Quest staff having to call my PCP and clarify simple information. This was not the case with STDCheck. The lab info they sent was complete and the copy of the orders for me was unnecessary but nice to have. Quest had everything they needed for my tests when I showed up.

I had the blood drawn. Within 24 hours the preliminary results had been emailed to me. As Quest ran the different tests I was notified over the next two days every time a new result popped up along with the Quest report on the results. This was a huge improvement over either going to a clinic or my regular doctor. The Quest report is received faster and has more detail than either a clinic or doctor’s office. I had a document with the actual results rather than a “I didn’t get a call for two weeks, so I guess I’m okay.” Additionally, I have had partners in the past who want to actually see my STI tests, so this version is GREAT for that type of information exchange.

The only issue I can see some folks having with the STDCheck report is the preliminary results list them as “in range” and “out of range” by the test name. It would be possible to see a result that looks like HSV 1 “out of range” result. This would leave someone unfamiliar with the testing terminology wondering “what the heck does that mean?” While the final report provides details, there is a day or so delay between the preliminary reports and the final report.

In the case of a positive test, STDCheck offers an option for a consultation with a doctor. If you test positive for gonorrhea, chlamydia, or trichomoniasis a doctor can call in a prescription to your local pharmacy. This makes it easy to get basic treatment- no fuss, no muss. In my case, any doctor can call in a script and my insurance will cover the medication with the assigned co-pays. Depending on your insurance and ability to pay, you should be able to get the drugs you need.

The one thing which concerns me is that they don’t test to see if the gonorrhea and chlamydia strains are the regular ones or the antibiotic resistant ones which are now out there. In most cases the standard treatment will work for folks. However, here in northern California, the drug-resistant strains are quickly spreading, which would necessitate additional treatment. In the case of a positive HIV and hepatitis result, STDCheck can help you find a doctor to continue your treatment.

STDCheck offers a way to notify your former partners anonymously that they might want to get tested in the event one of your tests comes back positive. I didn’t use that service so I can’t say how well it works. Anonymous notifications have pluses and minuses. I think its important to let former partners know they might be at risk for an STI. I prefer to notify former partners via text or phone call, but I also understand that there are people out there you may never want to speak to again… so this would be a reasonable option for letting someone know. Its better than nothing.

While this service won’t work for 100 percent of people, I found it to be a huge improvement over my current STI testing options. Anytime I can work around seeing my PCP I’m in. The last time I tried to get a regular STI test from my PCP at a university hospital center, they insisted on putting me through “counseling” before running the tests which basically consisted of a “well, if you insist on being a slut, we can run the test, but wouldn’t it be better if you were in a monogamous relationship and only had sex to procreate” speech (total BS). I also prefer going to my regular Quest than the local clinic.

Additionally, I really liked getting a print out of the results. While I don’t currently have partners who insist on seeing testing results, I have dated people in the past who want proof of testing and this is an easy to read report which I could give them.

I actually likes the service so much, I checked out their other site HealthLabs.com. They offer a range of tests for all sorts of health needs. STDCheck was easy to use, provided competent and complete support in the process and made it way less stressful than seeing my doctor. I will definitely be using their other services in the future.

#sextoys #reviews #vibrators #dildos #std #sti #healthcare #services #lubricants #expertopinion

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