Weed is now legal in 18 U.S. states and the District of Columbia; two countries (Canada and Uruguay) and several other jurisdictions (Amsterdam, etc). It is also widely available in states and countries where is is not so legal. With the increasing ease of getting marijuana, more people are using it with sex.
Many Americans (and others as well) see marijuana use as socially acceptable and consider it a less-risky drug that alcohol, tobacco, or pain killers. Most users are also parents and/or Millennials. Cool.
What do you need to know about combining kink and weed to make sure things are safe? Your Auntie is here to help!
Is It Safe?
This is a complex question. I fall into the group of kinky folks who understand no activity has a “zero risk” associated with it. Even kissing presents the risk of transmitting HSV-1 (herpes simplex), the common cold, and COVID. In that sense, smoking or ingesting marijuana is not a zero-risk activity.
Marijuana has a wide set of effects on people. You may expereince one or many of these effects. You may expereince different effects with different strains or modes of ingestion. Therefore, a blanket statement of safety is not possible.
Marijuana can alter levels of pain, anxiety, inhibition, sense of time, concentration, hunger, and sleepiness. Some of these changes may be very positive for kink play. Others can be detrimental. Generally, you should not negotiate while high on marijuana. Treat it like any other drug and negotiate while sober.
Playing high, however, will depend on your personal response to marijuana and your desires.
Marijuana is a documented pain killer. In the past ten years, removing the THC (the active part of marijuana that causes the high feeling and psychological changes) and using just the CBD for pain killing purposes has become popular. For many people, CBD edibles, tinctures, and teas are effective for pain relief. Microdosing (taking small amounts throughout the day) is an increasingly popular use for the CBD isolates of marijuana. CBD does not alter psychological perceptions of time and does not give you a “high” feeling. Therefore, its generally safe to play while using CBD.
As research evolves, various studies are finding that CBD + THC are required for the best pain killing effects. There are plenty of folks who use marijuana in a variety of forms for pain killing rather than getting high. When it comes to kink play, removing the “bad” and unwanted pain allows people to get more out of the kink session. If your back and hips don’t hurt, it is easier to enjoy play.
Increased Climax for Women
In several studies (like this one), researchers found that cis women who used marijuana prior to sexual intercourse, there was a significant increase in vaginal lubrication, reduced pain during intercourse, increased sexual desire, and a greater chance of reaching climax. These are strong arguments for women using marijuana before sex, unless you desire orgasm denial and control.
Other Physical Effects
Smoking and ingesting marijuana has other physical impacts which might make a difference for you in kinky play.
- Gastrointestinal: decrease inflammation, reduce Chron’s symptoms (positive)
- Increased hunger (neutral)
- Dry mouth: makes oral sex and kissing more challenging (negative)
- Clumsiness (negative)
- Increased vaginal moisture/reduced vaginal pain (positive)
Marijuana has a couple of different psychological effects which impact kink play.
For some users, marijuana can increase anxiety and paranoia. Even if you have used marijuana in the past, this does not mean you will not experience anxiety in the future. Sativa strains tend to be more associated with anxiety elevation. However, all types of marijuana may cause anxiety.
For some users, marijuana can make them feel more relaxed or less anxious. Indica strains tend to more frequently be associated with more relaxation, although all strains can help some people relaxa.
For some uses, it becomes more difficult to tell how much time has passed. This may or may not have any impact on your kink, depending on the type of play you engage in for fun.
Figuring Out What Weed Works for You
If you want to combine marijuana and sex, you should try specific marijuana strains prior to using it with kink. It is important to know how specific strains of marijuana effect you.
There are three main types of marijuana: indica, sativa, and hybrid. Indica strains tend to be associated with a “head high,” calming feelings, pain reduction, sleepiness, and a general slowing in thoughts. Sativa strains tend to be associated with a “body high,” elevated mood, occasional anxiety, and pain reduction. Hybrids are associated with combination of both sativa and indica strains.
In places where marijuana is legal, dispensaries categorize the strains and a good employee can help direct you to a specific strain to help you achieve what you want. In places where marijuana is not legal, your dealer will most likely know if it is a sativa, indica, or hybrid but may or may not be able to get more specific than that.
Try a few different types of marijuana prior to playing. Masturbate while high to see how your body responds. Note if you get anxiety, fall asleep quickly, have an elevated mood, and other impacts.
Once you understand your response to marijuana, let your partner know that you want to use it during a kink scene. Depending on what you plan to do and your partner’s comfort with marijuana use, you will need to negotiate your play. If you are both regular users and are established players, the negotiations may be minimal. If you are with a new(er) partner or using marijuana during sex is new, make sure to cover consent, limits, and aftercare plans.
Marijuana’s psychological effects can alter head space. For people who relax while using weed, you may experience a deeper submissive or dominant head space. This can be very enjoyable! Marijuana can shut down worries and your internal monologue and allow you to be more present during a scene.
The increased access to improved head space also increases the chance of reaching sub or top space. Make sure to talk about aftercare to help you reground after a marijuana-enhanced scene.
For users who experience anxiety, this can make is more difficult to get into a head space to play. It may be distracting you may worry too much to enjoy a scene.
Routes of Ingestion
Marijuana can be smoked, eaten, and “dabbed.” Different routes of ingestion change your bodies reaction. If you smoke, the impacts occur within a few minutes. If you use edibles, the effects can begin 30 to 60 minutes after you eat it. This can make your level of intoxication harder to gauge. Waxes and crystals for dabbing are highly concentrated versions of marijuana. These forms of ingestion can increase the impact of smoking.
When you are figuring out what type of marijuana works for you, make sure to keep the method of ingestion the same.
If you plan to use marijuana for a scene, you need to make sure you stay safe in and out of the scene.
If you are going to have to drive afterward, knowing how long the effects last for you is critical. Never drive high. Smoking flower (the dried buds) generally has the fastest dissipating effects. Edibles and dabbing can last much longer. If you are high after the scene but need to leave, call a cab or ride share or friend.
Marijuana use, especially edibles, can cause a bit of dehydration. Make sure you have water and non-caffeinated drinks when using marijuana with kink.
Marijuana is a pain killer. This means if you are injured during play (e.g., muscle strains, cuts and bruising) you may not feel it as much. Have a partner help you with a body check for any large bruises, abrasions, or other skin concerns to deal with on the spot. Pay attention to your body for the next 24 hours to see if you develop pain or strain associated with play. Ice, heat, and anti-inflammatory medication can be administered as needed.
I enjoy smoking just a little bit of weed before a scene. Usually a single “hit” off a bong or pipe is effective for me. For people new to using marijuana during kink, I strongly recommend taking a small bit by smoking flower.
I am a fan of hybrid strains for sex. The relaxation effect plus a body high that does not make me too tired makes sex much more enjoyable. I will attest that for me, I do experience increased lubrication and probability of climax while high.
While these work for me, experiment with types of marijuana and forms of ingestion which work for you!
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